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On the day he was born, that bundle of joy was listening to you. Although he didn’t speak for 15 to 20 months (on average) he was listening from day one.
What did you teach him?
Everything. Whether you tried to or not.
As it turns out, parents who subscribe to the advice to read to baby while he’s still in the womb, introduce a second language before the first takes hold, and teach sign language to their offspring before they can converse aloud produce children who are, by and large, no further ahead conversationally than their less-catered-to peers.
Of course, there are a lot of caveats to this statement, as there are with most statements about child rearing and child development. But by and large, children learn how to converse relatively well by age three—and they learn a lot before that—and they learn in a rather predictable fashion.
Teach your children well (by talking to them)
Keeping a running dialog with your baby about your daily activities is the best form of teaching, researchers say. No cutesy baby-talk, subliminal language tapes, or Henry-Higgens style diction lessons are required.
See, babies’ brains are better than adults. They pick up just exactly what they need to function, and that includes a primary language. Unless a child is living in a truly bilingual home, researchers say, introducing a second language very early is just so much noise. Baby will tune it out.
Exactly how language is learned isn’t well-known yet (brain imaging is providing more information about that daily) but a few things are certain. YOU are your child’s first, and best, teacher when it comes to language (among other things). While the intricacies of HOW language is learned isn’t completely understood, WHEN children learn is easier to study, and therefore, it’s much easier to predict.
Typical milestones
BEFORE 6 MONTHS you’ll probably hear baby laugh, sigh, and maybe even string together sounds (that don’t make sense).
BETWEEN 6 and 12 MONTHS baby will respond to his name, and will turn to “listen” to conversations. (Don’t laugh—he really is listening and learning. He just isn’t ready to join in…yet.)
AT ABOUT 12 MONTHS baby should be able to use 1, 2, or 3 words. More likely, those “words” aren’t words, but consistent sounds with consistent meanings. “Ba” may be the word used for bottle, cup, milk, or juice—but it always means “I want something to drink.”
BY 18 MONTHS most pediatricians want to hear baby say at least 5 different words—consistently used sounds, again, that mimic actual words (and are getting closer every day). At this point, while he can only “say” a handful of words, he understands more than a hundred, and follows simple commands such as “get your milk and put in on the table,” or “please throw this away.”
TWO YEAR OLDS say “mine,” (and a lot of other words) and they can be understood, for the most part, even by strangers.
Between two- and three years of age, a child’s vocabulary changes from being primarily nouns to being very action-oriented, consisting of a lot of verbs. From 18 to 36 months, vocabulary increases at least tenfold, from approximately 100 words (by age 2) to more than 1,000 words. Certainly, most three year olds understand that many words; most experts believe that they attempt to verbalize them, however, some will not be used correctly or pronounced recognizably for some time.
BY 3 YEARS most children are able to tell a simple story or answer the question, “What did you do today?” with a considerable accuracy and detail. Don’t hold them responsible for timeliness, however—while they use the words “yesterday,” “today,” “later,” “before,” and “after,” they will master the concepts that those words represent later.
MOST 4 YEAR OLDS can repeat phone numbers but cannot yet memorize and accurately recit their own phone numbers until they are five or six.
Got Worries?
Parents who are worried about their child’s lisps, inability to form certain sounds (the th-, y-, and s- sounds are often slow to develop) will be happy to know that, although most children can be understood well by the time they are four years old, verbal development is an ongoing process and improvement will be noticeable throughout the early elementary grades—about the time it takes for most of the permanent front teeth to find their spots in those young mouths.
Don’t succumb to worries based on the comparison game—“my son could say his first and last name by the time he was two” is a great memory, but not a great yardstick by which to measure YOUR child. All children develop at individual rates.
If you are worried enough to see your pediatrician about language development, you can expect the doctor to perform a hearing test, review any history of ear (and other) infections, as well as other physical developments. After all that, the doctor may recommend that your child see a speech pathologist, a hearing specialist, or even a psychologist who specializes in language development—or, the doctor may just tell you to be patient. Kids (and everyone, really) learn at individual rates. Some seem to learn one word at a time, and temporarily put all other words ‘on hold’ while they master the new word. Others may be slow to speak, then “suddenly” (or so it seems) begin speaking complete sentences. Both patterns of development, and a hundred others, are normal.
How to Help Start the Conversation with your Baby or Toddler
- Talk, talk, talk. A running dialog about the cars driving by, the rain falling down, and other common occurrences will really help build your child’s listening and speaking skills.
- Give baby time to answer. Ask baby questions before he can talk—and wait for his answer. Even though he won’t be able to, at first, he’ll learn the pattern of speech and conversational conventions that will help him gain speaking skills quickly.
- READ. Read anything—and then read it again. Babies thrive on repetition. Include poetry in your reading habits; it teaches patterns, rhyming, and inflections that will stick with baby throughout his early speaking years.
- Encourage, don’t shush. Encourage baby’s (and toddler’s) attempts at speech, and ask for help when you (truly) don’t understand. “I don’t know what you want, can you tell me another way?” is a phrase every parent should recite often during the just-learning-to-talk phase. When you DO understand, but would like baby to say a word more properly, model the correct word by repeating it. To his, “Give me ba!” command, you might say, “Oh, you want the BALL, don’t you? Here it is.” Have patience. The rest of the consonants, and clusters and contractions, will come later.
- Play with words. By three, most children appreciate assonance and pay close attention to how words are used in such ways. At the grocery store you might point out there are “Big bananas and baby bananas,” emphasizing the “b” and add, “but bananas don’ bounce.” Such word play is a precursor to puns and simple jokes, which most children appreciate (and imitate) by the time they turn four.
To learn more about language development, consider the resources available through The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association, and The University of Maryland's Language Perception and Development Laboratories.
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